I am SINGLE

Yes I am single for the week and I hate it!!! Wadie my hubby is attending a course in DisneyLand Paris of all places & the initial plan was for us all to accompany him but sometimes things don't go as planned!!! Wadie ended up going alone & I ended up being single and sleeping alone in our big bed!!! And I HATE sleeping alone!!!

Wadie & I have been married for nearly 9 years & this is maybe the third time he leaves me behind as the policy in our marriage (dictated & imposed by yours truly) has always been "2ejri 3a 2ejrak"!!! This mind you does not apply the other way around as I do take frequent trips to Lebanon alone or with the kids to see my family & friends!!!!

Being single sucks big time as it means being lonely, having my meals alone, watching TV alone, having no one to talk to, cooking only for the children, sleeping alone.... Some of you may say that it is good to have a break but I say I did not sign up for this!!! I want my hubby back!!!

I still have three days to endure this new Single status and I can't wait to be reunited with the love of my life. Some may say this is lame but I say I hate being separated from him even if only for a few days!!!

Hurry back home My Love...

... And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
'Cause we'll never be wrong
Together we can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
(All of the time)
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight... 

BONNIE TYLER - TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART 😜💔

What is happening to me?????

Yes it's me in the above picture even though Me, Myself & I don't recognize the person in the picture!!!! I swear to God I freaked out this morning when I looked into the mirror to find a stranger looking back at me!!! What the hell is going on with me? Why am I changing so drastically? Is it menopause??? Did any of you experience similar symptoms like change in taste, being much more adventurous than usual, liking things you never liked before... Does menopause do that to you????

It must be menopause as I am experiencing some strange symptoms like my new found love for designers handbags! Me who has never liked handbags and who only carried them on special occasions!!!! Nowadays I can't stop buying them! I also used to only wear platinum jewelry and like all women diamonds were my best friend but this also changed and recently I started buying and wearing different kinds of accessories. 

Then yesterday I suddenly felt I wanted to chop my hair off & change my look and I simply did it. 

What will be next? Will I suddenly become a Vegan God forbid? Will my taste in men change & will I suddenly want to change my husband??????? ;-)

Happy Birthday Dorito

Dear Dory,

When I discovered I was pregnant with you back in 2010 I was ecstatic since I was longing for another child and wanted so badly to give Tia a sister or a brother.

I would have loved to tell you that my pregnancy with you was without a hitch but that would be lie!!!  For the first 5 months you gave another meaning to morning sickness!!! It was an all day sickness but on the bright side I lost a lot of weight & didn’t start wearing maternity cloth until I was 6.5 months pregnant!!! When the all day sickness phase was over, your dad & I decided that you should be born in Canada & I had to go live there on my own until you were born and that was the most difficult decision I ever had to take in my life. It’s true that I nearly had a nervous breakdown before we traveled, that I worried so much of how I would be able to live alone in a strange country and in the cold snowy freezing weather without friends & family, without a support system, all alone thousands of miles away from all those who love me… But you had other plans for me!!!  I believe you made a secret pact with God to make those 5 months I spent there go by smoothly. You were the one who sent me Abir & her family to be my guardian angels & my support system during those 5 months. Because who would believe that my sister’s friend from Dubai who had recently moved to Montreal & whom I had never heard off or met before, who called me on the first week of my stay there to tell me that my sister asked her to check on me was in fact living just a few floors beneath me in the same building where I had rented an apartment???!!! Some might call it coincidence but I strongly believe that it was you who made all that happen to ensure that I wasn’t alone when your dad & Tia were not there with me. You brought Abir & I together to support each other as she too was living alone with her son while her husband worked in Dubai.  You were indeed our guardian angel as Abir called you. 

 

You were also the reason I fell in love with Montreal & apparently so did you as you took your time to get out into the world. You must have known that we would go back to Kuwait as soon as your PRECIOUS Canadian Passport was in our hands so you tried to delay our departure as much as possible. Do not fear my little man as we will very soon take you back to your homeland since we want nothing but the very best for Tia & you and want you both to grow up in a country that will offer you security, respect, & a bright future. 

Your dad & I promise to love you, care for you and do all what is humanly possible to give you both the best education and the best life.

Happy Birthday my little sunshine. We Love You!!!!  

My Little Diva/Fashionista!!!!

I've never liked wearing makeup, dresses, high heels or handbags and in a funny twist of fate God chose to give me a little Fashionista as a daughter!!! I might go as far as saying that God made Tia a little Fashionista to teach me a lesson or maybe to punish me for wearing jeans & flats for as long as I can remember! 

From the moment she was born Tia had a mind of her own and a sense of style like no other! Tia was born a Diva, a girly girl whose favorite color is pink, who loves pretty little dresses, makeup, high heels & who never leaves the house without a handbag & sunglasses!!!! In one word she's the total opposite of me!!! 

Wadie blames my constant watching of Star Academy during my pregnancy for the way she came out to be. Well, maybe it was & maybe it wasn't but the fact remains that I do have a daughter that is nothing like me & I don't mind it one bit!

Tia you are who you are!!! Don't ever change my little Diva/Fashionista!! I Love you!!

Being a Parent....

We really don't know what we have signed up for when we take the decision of becoming parents. We really don't fully appreciate what our parents went through to raise us until we become parents ourselves.  We really don't fully grasp what being a mom & dad is all really about until we become one. 

Being a parent is the most difficult job in the world. True, becoming a parent is the best feeling you will ever experience (along with that yummy sushi roll melting in your mouth ;-)) but it does come with a lot of responsibilities, sacrifices, sleepless nights, a great lot of worrying, and a lot of frustration, shouting, screaming and let’s admit it even a few tears shed here & there. 

I write this post with my son Dory sleeping next to me as he was too sick to go to the Nursery today. Every now & then I lightly put my hand on his forehead to see if the fever has crept back. How many times did my mom sit just like I am doing now worrying about how sick we were? How many times she wiped our tears & consoled us? How many times our parents rushed us to the doctor? How many time they stayed up with us while we studied for an exam or waited for us to come back home from a party or just simply held our hand and smiled making us feel loved, safe & that they will always be there for us? 

Endless times is the answer to all the above questions... And here we are after so many years doing the same for our own kids. 

It's true that we sometimes might whine about how difficult of a job parenthood is and we might also get frustrated & shout at our kids, and feel like running away to a deserted island to enjoy some peace and quiet but I bet that no parents in their right mind would trade their children for all the wealth in the world!!! 

Dory just opened his eyes for a few seconds, looked at me & smiled before drifting back to sleep and I wouldn't trade that sweet smile & loving look he gave me for anything. 

My children might act sometimes like little demons, they might sometimes drive me crazy with their shenanigans, they might frustrate me with their lack of listening skills and their expertise in pushing my buttons every now & then but they remain MY children, the apple of my eyes, my most precious possession, and they are & will remain my proudest achievement in life.

Whomever said that the most precious jewels you will ever wear around your neck are the arms of your children obviously knew what he was talking about.

Tia & Dory I might shout at you, be mad at you, lecture you, punish you, make you cry & maybe drive you to hate me for being mean to you sometimes but believe me I am doing all that only because I truly and deeply LOVE YOU.

The Kid Inside Me...

This August I will be 42 years young and believe me I do not feel one day over 18!!! Well maybe 25 would me more accurate!!! And if you had seen me today on the swing trying my best to get as high as possible & witnessed how excited I was zip-lining in the park with my kids, you would definitely have said I was a teenager having a blast!!! 

I might be approaching menopause but every now & then the little girl trapped inside me just wants to get out, have fun & act a little bit crazy. Those are the days when I just need to feel care free without any responsibility and when I desperately want to have fun without worrying about anything or anyone! 

Age is really just a number. Being over 40 didn't stop me from going to Disneyland and enjoying all the rides and having a great time! And it will not stop me from realizing so many extreme activities on my bucket list like bungee jumping and skydiving. 

Satchel Paige once said:" Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it does not matter" and I strongly agree with that!!!! I will live my life & forget my age coz age is not important unless you're a cheese or a fine wine! 

Youth does not have an age and one is never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream, or (in my case) ride a swing and swing it very high with the hope of maybe catching a star!!! 

Stupid Me

What is the stupidest thing you ever did? That is a question that was asked yesterday night on a group chat by one of my friends & while a few started to tell their stupid adventures, anecdotes and stories I took a moment to reflect on my life and remember what I would call a stupid incident! 

To tell you the truth, I've always been regarded as somewhat of a perfect angel by my family & close friends but let's face it no one is perfect and there is a little demon in each & everyone of us! When I finally recalled what I could label as my stupid incident & shared it, it  proved to be one of the biggest incidents shared by anyone on the group!!! My friends were greatly entertained by it & laughed their asses off at my expense!!! 

I know many of you are wondering what was that incident but unfortunately since many of my family & relatives read this blog I will not be able to divulge it!!!! Until yesterday this incident was kept a secret between me and the other person involved in it and a third party who luckily spared us! A few of my friends also know now but I do trust them to keep their mouth closed as what happens in the group stays in the group as agreed upon, between us all, from the beginning!!!!!! Right guys????

We all have our dark little secrets and we all did stupid things at one time or another in our life! I for one look back now at that incident and laugh at how stupid it was of me to put myself in such a situation but when we are caught up in the moment we do tend to let our guards down & expose ourselves!!! 

Luckily for me I escaped the consequences of being caught red handed and learned a lesson from that little incident: Live in the moment but without letting anyone catch you!!!! ;-)

فشِّة خلق بالأمثال

خلينا نقعد عوج و نحكي جالس: ما بيصح إلا الصحيح و أكل الهوا لِلْواطي دوا. لهيك إلعب وحدك ولا تغتاظ.الأصول بتقول إنو إللي بيأكل خبز السلطان بحارب بسيفو بس للأسف هذه الأيام الأكثرية بالوجه مراية و بالقفى سرماية أو ضحكتهم بسنانهم وسمومهم بلسانهم! لهيك سيد وميد واعمل متلما بتريد أو هالباب يلي بيجيك منه ريح سدو و استريح و خلي كل واحد ينام على الجنب يلي بيريحه! لان القصة مش رمانه لكن قلوب مليانة!! و الحيط الواطي كل واحد بينط عنه بس الحجر الثقيل ما بينهزّ من مطرحه! بدهن ياني طنش و حط بالخِرج!!!! و بعد الألم أحفر و طم!!! يعني فوق الدكه شرطوطة!!! مش عارفين أنو إلي بياكل العصي مش متل اللي بيعدها.  وعم إحكي يا كِنة تا تسمعي يا جارة و فهمكن كفاية!!!!

Being Zen!!!

I just finished watching an episode of the Carrie Diaries in which Carrie learns the Art of Being Zen & tries to apply it to her life. For those of you who need a more elaborate explanation: Zen is a form of meditation with a focus on the mindful awareness of the present moment. Being Zen is about doing right for the mind, body, and soul. It can help you relax, have a positive outlook on life, and find a higher plane of spiritual worth.  Now this is more my cup of tea as I know a little bit about meditation & Transcendental Meditation in particular since my husband Wadie has been practicing it & teaching it for more than 20years!!!

I first learned about TM (Transcendental Meditation) on my first blind date with Wadie (This requires another post by itself) when he shared with me that he was a TM teacher. Wadie then asked me if I would like him to teach me all about TM to which I replied yes and that apparently was the right answer to his trick question as I discovered later on when Wadie confessed that me learning TM & practicing it was a prerequisite for our Fairy Tale ending with:" ... and they lived happily ever after!!!" 

Between you & me I had ulterior motives to when I first replied yes because saying yes gave me an excuse to spend more time with Wadie as I was  already head over heels for him by then. ;-)

But joke aside TM really works. It is easy, practicing it takes 20 minutes (twice daily) sitting comfortably with your eyes closed & its benefits, which I have experienced up close & personal, are huge. With TM one experiences inner peace & clarity from the start. It reduces stress & anxiety and this in turns allows the body to naturally dissolve stress and strain and allows us to become healthier. Meditators tend to feel less stressed and notice that they deal more calmly with tense situations. Well this is natural because when stress is reduced, benefits like better sleep and clearer thinking also naturally develop. 

I have verified personally the benefits of Meditation just by living with Wadie and have seen how the daily practice of the TM technique produces a wide range of positive effects on a person's mind, body, and behavior. I am not joking. Wadie hasn’t missed one day without practicing Meditation since 1989 I think & I can vouch of the benefits of that daily practice first hand!!! Guys, we’ve been married for almost 9 years (we knewn each other for two years before that) and in the past eleven years we haven’t fought once!!! Well I did fight but only with myself as Wadie simply doesn’t get mad. He’s the COOLEST ( Cool as in temperature) man I known!!! Nothing upsets him to the extent of losing his temper and shouting, every problem has a solution for him no matter how big or small it is. He really has no stress in his life & is at peace with himself & the entire world. 

I am without doubt married to a sweet loving man who adores me, in spite of my fiery character, (He calls me ZOUMBARAK) and who always remains cool and unruffled under all circumstances. I am living in bliss but I admit that I do need one more thing to make it a total bliss: Force myself to practice my TM daily to become as COOL as my beloved hubby is!!! ;-)

“Transcendental Meditation opens the awareness to the infinite reservoir of energy, creativity, and intelligence that lies deep within everyone... The practice of Transcendental Meditation creates a natural situation in the mind so that the mind entertains right thoughts, useful thoughts, thoughts that are cherished by nature and whose fulfillment is worked out by all the laws of nature."- Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

أمثال

يلي دِري دِري ويلي ما دِري قال كف عدس. بس خلينا نقعد عوج و نحكي جالس. بلدنا إجريها عوج و بدها بابوج. ابن الحكومة فيها إذا صادقته أكلك و إذا عاديته هلكك. بس إلّي بيعوز الكلب بيقول له صَبحَك بالخير يا سيدنا! اركب الديك وشوف لوين بيوَدِّيك. من تحت الدلفة لتحت المزراب! والقصة مش رمانه لكن قلوب مليانة.

وهذة الإيام فينا روح وفيه روح وما منعرف روح مين بتروح! بس القصة شكلها متل سيرة الحيّات، بتبدا و ما بتخلص! بس نحنا إن عجبنا الكحل تكحلنا وإن ما عجبنا ترحلنا. صح؟ لأن ما بيصح إلا الصحيح وبالنهاية الداخل بالسياسة متل الداخل بتنكة الكناسة فشو بدنا بهذه الشغلة و هذا الباب اللي بيجي منه ريح سده و إستريح!!!! و تيتي تيتي مثل ما رحتي متل ما جيتي!!!!!!!!! 

Shall we?

Today as I was having lunch with my beloved hubby I asked him a question that took him by surprise!!!!! Casually, I said:" Shall we have another child?" At first what I asked didn't fully register with Wadie & he said:"What????" I repeated the question & he replied with a small hint of panic in his voice:" Is this your way of telling me that there is a bun in the oven?" 

To set things straight & before any of you gets any ideas: NO I am not Pregnant!!! 

Wadie & I have already agreed not to have any more children as we wanted to provide Tia & Dory with the very best in everything! Let's be honest nowadays if you want to give your kids the best education and a decent life then having more than two kids can be challenging!!! Right? I sometimes ask myself how did our parents raise more than two kids let along four, five, six or more!!! Maybe today's kids are more demanding than we were? Is the world we live in today so different from the one we used to live in some 20/30 years ago?

Well back to my story I really don't know what triggered that question?! I think it might be the nostalgia to the days I was a pregnant woman! Coz let's be frank, I for one love being pregnant even though pregnancy can be a little uncomfortable with the nausea, mood swings, bladder pressure, extra pounds, ache & pains that become a part of your daily life. Add to all that the fact that you won't be able to sleep on your tummy.... But on the other hand you get to experience the most precious gift of all which is growing a life inside you and feeling all those movements, little kicks & hiccups. And who would say No to getting 9 months of extra pampering by everyone especially your poor husband whom you will get to boss around & who will gladly wait on you hand & foot and fulfill all the strange food cravings you get at the oddest times. And the best advantage is that you will be able to eat whatever you want & not worry about the weight gain.... Until you deliver & then the worrying begins!!!! 

Honestly I wouldn't mind going through it again if I can skip the first three to five months of sleepless nights that follow the delivery of the precious bundle!!!! But I won't probably do it again as it takes two to Tango and my hubby & I have closed that ballroom door (Mabda2iyan)!!!! 

I conclude this post with thanking God for blessing us with our two little angels/demons Tia & Dory who are our most precious possession.

And before I  leave you.... No we shall not... For now at least...  ;-)

I Am an open book

This post is brought to you by a comment my sister Rola just sent me (jokingly) when I sent her the link for this blog & asked her to follow me if she wanted to know more about what is happening in my world:

“Pffff… I already feel I know the color of your bed sheets ;-)!”

Those of you who really know me are familiar with the fact that I really am an open book with nothing to hide.  And I do admit fully to the fact that I really love social media and have so many details of my life splashed all over Facebook, Instagram & now this blog!! By God I almost literally gave birth to my son Dory on Facebook as I was updating my status between contractions keeping everyone up to date with what was happening  & posting pictures of Dory mere minutes after his birth!! One of my friends bestowed on me the title of First Woman to Give Birth on Facebook!! 

I have nothing to hide & I am so in love &  proud of my family, my life, my friends, my experiences, my travels and so many other aspects of my world that I don’t mind sharing them with those I like & who are also a major part of my world. 

I am not one that can hide my feelings or suppress them. I simply cannot do it. Some might call me blunt but I call myself straight forward, honest, genuine, sincere & unfeigned. I would never be a good actress as I cannot fake emotions. I truly believe that the highest courage is to dare to appear to be what one is. I am who I am and I will never change who I am to fit the mold that others might create for me. I have nothing to hide. Love me or hate me

.

I conclude this post with the words of C. Joybell C.: “I would rather meet a person who is not amiable and who does not feel any burden to act amiable towards me, than to have the misfortune of knowing people who feel like they need to be gracious and compassionate so they will appear to be good people, whilst possessing none of those qualities within themselves! It's the latter that causes the pain in life.”